your fuck.

What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla abso-fucking-lutely right. =)

haahhaha just received this file featuring ho po fun at her ultimate draconian self.. screaming at this prc student ( i think its xiaopeng the councilor) calling him a 'slime farty old fret' or smthn that sounds like it.. LOL its damn funny! =D or maybe its just some small daily descreptancies that i look forward to. the past few days are unbearable. supposed to study the whole day and ended up sleeping the whole day... if not i'll be surfing the net for rubbish sites.... (try www.b3ta.com damn lame site) until 4 am and wake up at 3 pm. now i'm left with three days and 2/3 bio, 1/2 physics, 1/2 chem and the whole maths to mug until the start of the common test. its a good thing though that my parents have already forgiven me for my results (and ihavent even taken yet.) because they understand that it has been quite an eventful holiday, what with the camps the illnesses and the tense family quarrels (shan't elaborate) lol.. still thinking about ho po fun terror.. no wonder so3d has hopophobia.. LOL

called my mom today at the hospital, she's running a fever now, not sure if she'll be discharged anytime soon. tmr gotta sweep/mop the floor and really wash the clothes. but judging from how seriously i'm gonna treat this the house wun be much different after the mopping. today is the last day of the 4 day camp. the level of understanding of my buddy has significantly improved over the past few days. in the beginning i really didn't know what to do with him. initially i simply grabbed him and stopped him, while at the same time whispering in his ear that it's ok and all the consolation phrases, whenever he ran around the place. but now i follow him instead. i have learnt that everything he does is not 'purely unusual', unlike what his father says. it all has a purpose. when he left the group, to take a second drink although i have given him one, i realised its because he dislikes the taste of the first drink. he ran back to the toilet for no reason during a session, because he wanted to look for something which he had dropped there. i realised if i bothered to ask him, and think of the possibilities of the purpose of his actions, he would be a much calmer boy. when i first joined the camp, i was thinking, what part can i play in this camp. do not expect me to cure the autism of my buddy, for i am no professional. i also cannot seem to improve his skills that are taught during the camp, since he doesn't really listen to instructions. so i joined the camp for .. yea, the hours. now i guess i was right. but then i didn't realise that the purpose of the camp isn't to cure the disabilities, neither it is to impart certain arts skills to them. the first is impossible, the latter is secondary. i think the true reason is to make the children realise that they are cared for. for my case, i am supposed to let my autistic buddy know that there are people who are trying to understand his actions. that he is not an alien in this society, as what many autists describe it to be. i think i have tried my best in this aspect. if time permits, and if i can find a few people to join me, next year i may even go again. and now everything is over. i have exactly one week and two days left to study for the common test. for four subjects. i dunno if i'm gonna make it through this though.. never had to rush so much work in so little time for the past two years. (expect maybe last yr june) so i decided. i'm not going out anymore (unnecessarily) gonna stay at home and study haha. the mugger in me has surfaced. =P

confirmed my mom has to be hospitalised for about a week or so. already i missed her, hope she comes back soon. besides the fact that i really want her to get well, i dread doing housework too. tmr have to start washing my clothes. called her today to ask her, she grumpily replied that she is not too good, makes me a bit worried, but hopefully its the same as what happened three years ago.. she entered, after awhile recovered (sort of) and allowed to discharged and back to normal self again. this is the 3rd day of the camp for children with certain disabilities. getting a bit used to talking to someone who doesn't reply. when we were allocated the different kids in our groups, i felt certain that i would be given a challenging task since i'm one of the few guys in my group- two actually. yea, so i was assigned to someone who is low functioning and doesn't speak, doesn't listen to instruction much, and flaps his hands when he's happy and sad. he is highly interested in coloring the flowers that i draw, and i've drawn umpteen times that i have completely mastered this skill. but refuses to take part in other activities, unless very very strong coaxing is applied, or even a little force, and even so he will do it 1/100-heartedly. but i guess its part of his autism. during lunch it is especially frustrating, where every mouthful of rice i swallow he'll go running everywhere around the centre. i have to run after him and drag him back, while he is using every ounce of energy he has to go in the opposite direction. and he doesn't eat. a little worrying haha. then during different activities he just for no reason run out of the room, run all over the school, and i'll have to follow him wherever he goes. but i just can't bring myself to get angry with him, he looks so darn cute heh. one good thing though is that he knows how to use the bathroom. jinfa has a boy who have absolutely zero bowel control. yesterday he pissed in his pants twice, and jinfa has the onerous task of changing his pants. today he pissed in his pants once, and the obviously tired befriender was sitting on the atrium watching him running all over the place.. i helped chase him and he whispered to me 'i wanna pee'.. and in no time he peed in his pants again. lol. then there's a boy who suffers from autism who looks a bit like isaac. but has a vast amount of knowledge in his brain. yesterday his topics of conversation ranged from cold wars to european conquerers to imperialistic countries. i thought it was only history he knew until today he went on talking about the mechanisms of airplanes and volcanoes. i'm really impressed. and he's damn cute also did a lot of damn funny antics.. but shan't elaborate cuz i'm not really good at words. overall the children are damn cute, and innocent, yea just like what the instructor has said. had fun interacting with them.. but it would be even better if more of my friends are with me in this.. today supposed to go watch the hulk but iyar everyone can't make it. yesterday was supposed to watch the hulk with zy and yau hong. we went to have dinner. waited almost 1 hr for them cuz they took the wrong bus, thanks to yh. had fun 'playing' with him, by asking him to lead us to the arcade in bugis junction .we told him it is B1 in the same building as parco, he went the other side of the B1 and couldnt find it no matter what, and i was trying not to laugh. after he found it, we embarrassed ourselves by playing daytona in front of an obvious expert who seem to be watching us in amusement as we cannot even complete 1 lap in expert mode, like zy has said. some 10 seconds from the start we were driving happily and were making the first turn, what the .. din expect the turn to be so sharp and in no time all three of us were knocked backwards and driving reversing.. and its damn amusing.. cuz the dots on the map showed three cars moving backwards at the same time. and yea. its definitely not the only time we kena crashed on the sides. haha. din study the whole of this week because of the camp (shldnt be complaining, the swimmers train 10 times a week. two days every weekdays. and the canoeists train 4 times a week and its whole day training... i can't believe i had the cheek to complain to a swimmer and a canoeist that my holidays is tiring because of the camp!) but its only a common test.. not important. haha tomorrow argh must wake up early again.. setting up my alarm clock using my phone. tomorrow since its the last day of the camp it will end quite late, and i really hope it will end in a good note; in other words i hope my patience doesn't run out. =P walked away, heard them say poison hearts will never change, walk away again turned away in disgrace felt the chill upon my face cooling from within hard to notice gleaming from the sky when you're staring at the cracks hard to notice what is passing by with eyes lowered all the cracks will lead right to me all the cracks will crawl right through me, and I fell apart...

heh, today marks the start of the 4 day camp with a few disabled kids. not really the start, today is basically just some prep discussions and instructions on what to do during the actual camp, which really begins tomorrow. damn, did something damn stupid first thing in the morning (dun even dare to say out) but lucky the ppl there are generally nice and do not really comment on my uhh antics, haha. at first i signed up for this thing (besides for the almost-40 hrs cip reward) because i tot not much challenge will be involved. hmm, it's an arts camp what, so what skill does one require to teach the children how to paint? and then comes the experience shared by one veteran volunteer, where we learnt the past 'interesting' or should i say torturous incidents, like the one where the little boy stripped naked in the middle of the zoo because the volunteers refused to let him go to a certain attraction, or the girl who pumped detergent into her mouth, and tried to bang her head on the floor when she wasn't shown enough attention, and not forgetting a boy who drew the statement "i want to die" in the free expression sessions. but otherwise, they are supposed to be rather cute and (????!!!!) innocent (???!!!!!!) or so she said. haha i wanted to establish a good impression for myself, because i'm like, more or less, alone, but as usual i was the introverted one when it comes to orientation or meeting new people. we're expected to encounter a few autistic children the next day, and one of my group mates told me to speak more the next day if not they might mistook me for one of them. so much for first impressions. anyway, the lectures were rather funny, and some instances i almost laughed when i'm not supposed to. like there's one point of time where the instructor mentioned that some autistic children have poor motor skills, and some seem to like to do repeated action, like swinging the leg to and fro like a pendulum.. then i was thinking, sounds like someone from another class in my sch (wahahaha) but there are times where i was trying to stay awake (everyone was listening damn attentively, i dun want to be the exception) ok apart from the lectures we had some icebreaking sessions, for the group mates to know one another. the first session was quite ok, but the second was, imho, rather aimless. was thinking maybe we couldve used the time to discuss more about the programmes tomorrow.. would be definitely more constructive. oh yar, i was also rather surprised to find myself the youngest member in my group.. the rest were jc graduates, studying in university, and there's even a 30-year-old guy who is looking for work. expected it to be a 17-18 years old thang.. but come to think of it there isn't really much of a difference, i wouldnt speak much in either case haha. reached home and made the discovery of the day. now i know why my comp memory space is decreasing gradually.. i was transferring some songs into my md, and see the memory dropping in front of my eyes. i took like two hours (ok maybe slightly less) to traaacceeee where this memory drop came from.. i checked the memory usage change in all folders, checked which folders have more files after transferring a song (a possible clue to where the increase in memory usage come from) and after a few checks i realised that something was amiss.. then i uncovered show hidden files and bingo. this folder hidden deeeeeeep inside documents and settings have hundreds of backup mp3s. the moment i deleted them, almost 1 gig of free space is created again. wow was i relieved.. did some changes to my playlist.. added like almost 15 songs.. cuz i deleted all the rnb. (brings back bad memories) so now its like pure alternative. and my father juz broke the news to me.. tmr my mom is going to hospital, after suffering for about a week or so.. may need to be hospitalised. i pray for the best.

Tanjong Katong Girls's School

which secondary school (singapore) should you be in?
brought to you by Quizilla ...

was just looking thru my school yearbook, and got the greatest shock of my day. there's this insignificant portion of the book, where my face happened to be in, and oh my god it looked like fuck! ever since a few years back after an unforgettable incident i have already resigned to the fact that i'm indeed unpretty; but the harmless looking picture sort of accentuates this truth. i can never bring myself to turn to that page again. -struggles to remember page number- a very long time ago, i used to believe that the photographs you take are an exact replication of what you look like, hence unpretty people do not like to be captured on photos for fear of being reminded of this depressing fact, now there's a slight change in my beliefs though; photographs enhance how you look like depending on which side of the beauty spectrum you lie; the sweet looking ones will look even sweeter, while the fucked up faces will appear even more screwed. neither beliefs serve to assuage me of my fear of posing in front of the camera. theres this closet in my father's office in which thousands of skeletons are kept; i suddenly have an idea. ignorance is bliss. And I feel like I'm falling Farther every day But I know that you're there Watching over me And I feel like I'm drowning The waves crashing over me But I know that your love It will set me free

heh juz returned from china black... wow it was damn nice, did not drink much, only drank three shots, and spent the rest of the night on the dance floor, was sweating like shit when i left haha..damn fucking crowded on the dance floor.. for a moment i was in my own world when heather told me to watch out, i looked behind and what the fuck i was grinding some guy behind me lol and after that another guy was grinding me wth and then another time i got sandwiched between two enthu guys who were jumping and shaking when they were playing 'lose yourself'.. and i got bloody stuck there cannot even move my hand. lol but still cldnt get enough. lucky i found a few ppl who stay at bishan then in the end we shared a cab home.. so it wasnt too ex.. and i noneed to leave to catch the last bus. the music rocks, ahh ... when i left it was like damn sick outside.. ppl were puking and some are passed out.. then i reached home under my house got a pile of puke which i almost stepped on. wah can't believe qingxiang says finding nemo is boring! what the its like one of the most funny shows i've watched this year.. hmm maybe because he hasn't watched johnny english and anger management. hell its a damn nice shhow go watch it with ur mom ur dad ur gf bf sis bro whoever just go watch. =) -move ur body!-

Fifth Level of Hell -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx. The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test hmm... i'm a very very violent person... watch out. grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!! =D