there goes another $70. went to watch big fish last friday.. not a bad show. then yesterday went to watch timeline.. damn lousy. lol! then rika treated us to hard rock cafe because she got her first pay.. food's not bad.. and the band there is awesome! then we decided to go ktv to spend the night but heard it's closed at midnight. so we went to embassy party instead.. yar two saturdays in a row.. i'm quite mad. so rika heather isaac victor qincheng wayne yaotang and me spent the party together. quite lame... we stood in front of the stage and took turns to do a stupid move while dancing and the rest had to imitate. but quite funny also, heh. =) met a lot of people there.. it was a much bigger party than last week's one. met a fellow medic, and another fellow medic's brother who happens to be heather's friend.. drank more than just the complementary drink, cuz we shared a jug of some thing that contains 40% alcohol. left at 2.30 am.. then isaac and rika sleptover at heather's house.. while i chose to go home.. which turned out to be a wise choice cuz when i reached home.. saw my mom.. reading newspaper.. very pissed. wonder what would happen if i didn't go home at all. Your sins into me Oh, my beautiful one, now Your sins into me.. No... As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer And I'll beg for forgiveness Your sins into Oh, my beautiful one.. "Silver and Cold - AFI"

first sign of tekong life in smm... falling in today... sergeant screaming loudly "whoever comes after this guy will fall in at the other side!!!" and i happen to be one of those who are late. "outstanding! forgot about tekong life already isit?" "outstanding! just now someone see me coming in to the parade square.. don't bother to ask you all to fall in! outstanding! when i come in, ask you all to fall in, you all fucking take your own sweet time! in future... you all jolly well be here before i come. UNDERSTAND?(in a fucking annoying high-mighty tone) " yes sergeant. turns to me. "YOU! OUTSTANDING! come fall in late! you remember.. i'm a SPEC! you're just a PRIVATE! WITH NO RANK! UNDERSTAND?!" yes sergeant. fuck you too sergeant.

Hey guys! It's my EGO at work! =D go to www.geocities.com/stanleyy_2000/nokia.html download the midis there.. i composed them myself! (not the song.. the midi) =D took me one whole night.. i know i got nothing better to do.. that is true. heh...

today is sleeping day! i slept on the floor in the stimulation lab, on the chair in the training aids room, and in the lecture room 3, throughout today. little wonder why i'm still wide awake now.. i think i slept as much as 3 hours today.. just watched finish butterfly effect.. amazing show, even though the plot may be a bit overused. the best show i've watched since... cold mountain, which i watched last week. heh.

there goes one week of stay in smm. apart from spending hours shredding papers/sweeping/mopping floors/carry stuff/arranging the room/talking cock/sleeping, haven't done much actually. the week's been pretty mundane so i was looking forward to something different during the weekend. unfortunately nothing much happened either.. had lunch with zy and yh in cafe cartel, before going to bowl. tonight went to some embassy party with rika and her friends. there was a fashion parade there, and i spotted one of rj fencer over there. haha, i have good judgement, the two chioest gers i pointed out ended up winning runners up and winner respectively. then the real party starts at midnight, but by then rika was bored to death and we left rather early.. at one i think... just minutes before leo and his gf entered. so didn't get to meet that slut. calculated.. yesterday spent almost 80 bucks. on lunch, bowling, dinner and the party and the cab. today, get to stay at home, save some money for next week. apparently my parents refuse to believe that the $350 i get every month is just an allowance, not a pay. =(

Happy Birthday, now your one year older. Happy Birthday, your life still isn't over. Happy Birthday, you did not accomplish much. But you didn't die this year i guess that's good enough. =)

my first day at School of Military Medicine. although officially i'm already under the smm, but i'm not enrolled in it yet. so until 5th april, i'll be serving as temporary support staff, a nicer term for 'saikang warriors'. i've been so foolish to think that there's no more area cleaning after BMT!!!!! but not that i'm complaining, life SEEMS to be quite good there, as it is basically a whole-day area cleaning without the punishments and the time-limit. and fucking hell the mealtime is like.. 2 hours? at least for today. i hope it's the same for everyday. (compared to 15 minutes in tekong) and my sergeant seems to be a rather nice person... he keeps saying "it's not tekong here.. it's so faraway.. so all of u can relac, smile, and joke about most of the time." he even wanted to "give us less work and more slacking time because he doesn't want to dirty our smart four." like... a culture shock!!!! or maybe because it's the first day... hmm. but i know that come 5th april when my 11-week-medic course starts things wun be so slack already. all of us go for the same course.. regardless of whether you're pes A, B, C1 , C2 or C9. and it's a stay-in course like bmt.. get to share with 7 other people in a bunk. i don't mind the training, i just hope very hard that i wun kena tekong medic when i pass out. unlesss.... what i heard about being able to go back home everyday is true. if not... i'll miss MY HOME!!!!!!!! (i mean.. i can't go anywhere beyond a corporal.. what's the use of being so garung?!) Swim in the smoke the hero will drown intoxicating beauty tears everything down but still our hands are bound at the wrist this romantic tragedy is suffocating from your fist, in a sea of fire. And the Hero will Drown - Story of the Year

haha can't believe i'm still typing this shit over here when by right i should be sleeping already. saf restricts your bio clock such that you'll start feeling sleepy at 10.30 p.m. all of us are seriously shagged, after having trench digging lessons two days back and a 10km route march yesterday. and only 5 hours of sleep yesternight. today did quite a lot of travelling. immediately after passing out my bunkmate mingde and i went to beauty world to look for cheap cds and vcds. bought a few games and vcds that i fancied. then i fucking fell asleep on the bus and woke up at a place in toa payoh, had to plan which bus to take back home. and spent the night playing comp with a few of my bunkmates in park lane. i played warcraft III for the first time. (horrors!) in the first game, died in ten minutes.. cuz my bunkmate yifeng, possibly knowing that it's my first time, attacked me while i'm building my second farm. but after that he joined my team, together with jason and we trashed the rest flat.. (though i didn't contribute much). now i realise that warcraft is actually very fun.. (if you're on the winning side) yeap, anyway, today is my passing out day! time really flies. last year before the A levels i was worried that i wouldn't be able to adapt to the rigorous ns life, and that very soon i would be enlisting in tekong. then one week before christmas i received a call asking me if i wanted to enlist in 26th december instead of april and i chose the first option. it was indeed a wise choice, since this period of the year has loads of holidays and we get to book out and slack at home. and now, POC is over! what the fuck i still can't really believe it.. i'm no longer a tekong recruit anymore. although, i have to say, i don't really deserve to pass out. firstly, my training isn't exactly the standard training most guys go through, and worse still i have to come down with chickenpox and rest for twelve fucking days.. out of the seven weeks. missed the most torturous event of the BMT: the four-day field camp that had the whole company come back in brown uniform and super-low morale. i missed the actual grenade shooting as well. i missed a 6km route march.. but attended the 10km graduation one. how can a soldier not know how to throw a grenade, not go through the fieldcraft lessons and still pass out is beyond me. but not that i'm complaining, actually the past few days i was so worried that i would have to spend another 7 weeks on the island. some of my friends are apathetic.. possibly thinking that 14 weeks of modified bmt is nothing compared to 16 weeks of enhanced bmt. i myself will rather go for the 16 weeks enhanced bmt than 2 sets of identical 7 weeks modified bmt. so overall my bmt experience hasn't been an unpleasant one; i had expected a hellhole just four months back. the sergeants and officers are fair and reasonable, for at least most of the time and our punishments are quite humane although our ps and pc had fucked us hard in a few occasions. my platoon is generally a nice platoon, with no real bastards around (actually i was hoping to have one or two bastards around so i won't end up being the bastard in my platoon) my section is nice and very helpful. yesterday they helped me kope some basha sticks, groundsheet and range card for me so i do not have to pay for it. though i'm not exactly popular, probably due to my somewhat retarded face (as some in my platoon had blatantly put it) and my so-called "warped interests", i still am grateful to the platoon, cuz without them i probably wouldnt survive the bmt. the only regret i have during my bmt stay is, apart from the fact that i missed field camp (i'm glad i missed the grenade shoot), that i'm still very very misunderstood, heh. i think people in my platoon will know me as 1)the guy who "forever looks stressed" ... damn my face! =( 2)the guy who eats oreos secretly in his cupboard without sharing with anyone. actually it did happen.. but only once, and that's because i thought eating snacks in the bunk is illegal and was afraid any sergeants would come and punish me. 3)the guy who slacks during area cleaning and any team activities... it happened a few times when i was really tired, and i'm realy sorry. (most of the time i really do my best though..) 4)the guy who had to rethrow a dummy grenade six times and get fucked real hard by his pc before he could do it properly. i always had a problem in throwing and that was my one and only grenade lesson... damn my lack of psychomotor skills 5)the guy who is the first to lose his voice and hence couldnt speak properly.. and spread to several of his platoonmates a few days later. 6)the bastard who had chickenpox and managed to skip the field camp (grrr) and grenade throw. 7)the guy who sits quietly in a corner and reads fhm while the rest of his bunkmates play chapteh. umm.. it's because i'm scared i'll screw up. =( 8)the rj nerd with ugly handwriting who doesn't know anything and requires intensive coaching to get things done properly. i agree... sigh. 9)the guy who is xxxxxxxtremely horny and gay! hmm... i know i do go overboard sometimes during conversation but i seriously don't mean what i said. really! but seriously i'm not what i seem to be.. i hope one day they'll understand. but like i said, despite all these, training is still memorable. i'll miss a FEW things in tekong, notably 1)the interesting conversations our bunkmates had during admin time. they were really very funny heh 2)the times our platoon spend together, e.g. playing games like guess the password where i always miraculously get through it but at the same time causing people around me to lose. 3)the cookhouse food... i know many will disagree but tekong cookhouse food is really really quite nice! the syrup drinks were nice too... 4)the 'fucked-up' versions of the army cheers.. damn funny. 5)the OO lectures (one of the few lectures i can sleep without any worries) however, i will not miss 1)the swearing-in ceremony.. i swear the sergeant major is a (#&*@ 2)the cleaning of the permstaff toilet, although the pubic hair, urine and shit images are still fresh in my mind. 3)the quick bathing/washing clothes sessions due to lack of admin time 4)the waiting time at the rifle range course... zzz. 5)the mood swings of our ps (but! depsite his unpredictable temper he is really one nice guy who seriously cares for us. gotta thank him hard for making me pass my bmt) 6)the long queues in the cookhouse and the rushing to finish up the GOOD food... will get indigestions if this carries on. 7)the hentak-kaki sessions... it's damn tiring to lift up legs 90 degrees... to cheer the hentak-kaki cheer doing it is bad... to have to say "we like it here we found ourselves a home! our home sweet home!" is torture... 8)the stand-by areas and beds. 9)the heavy rain during the field camp. i had to crouch on a wooden plank at night, because the rainwater has seeped into the groundsheet making it impossible for me to sleep. the coldness and discomfort is unimaginable. the combat rations were hardly edible and had to do some combat test in the fourth day when i'm literally dying. (just kidding, i didn't go for the field camp.) ... and the list goes on. anyway, i've been allocated to be a service medic. i was banking on a job that allows me to go home everyday to play, but now i have to spend the next seven weeks away from home.... again! for medic training. after that hopefully i can get to go home daily... i am praying hard for that now. but... a medic sounds better than a clerk.. which three quarters of my platoon were allocated to. thank god the medic training camp isn't in tekong. so... farewell tekong, hey, nee soon camp. the platoon 4 core values are... loyalty to ulysses company! cohesiveness! integrity! area cleaning! saikang spirit! care for fucking swines!

i dun like this result actually. it's like... revealing... hmm. in the meantime... -prays that i dun get ooc- curse that bloody fucking vesicle that made me get kicked out of tekong for four more days. ps.. go download south park! watched a few episodes.. find it damn funny
Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
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