http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/subliminal.html this is an interesting site... :)

i'm told i need more SA. Situational Awareness; it is an army term. i agree.. hell, if they sell SA like chocolates in the mamashop, i'll buy the whole shop. since i can't produce them myself..

the healthy lifestyle campaign organised by us ended yesterday... it wasn't expected to end that way though. for me, at least. all was fine the past three weeks, but yesterday i screwed up big time. oh, and in front of the dr who picked me to join the department.. again. ah well... did ops duty cum cos 2 days back. gave me a fuck lot of distractions during office hours, but was slacking all e way in the night. still, i was very tired, not because of the ops and cos. i was thinking of how to avoid being stranded in such an avoidable predicament. you see, was watching shark tale on wednesday night, ($15 for gala premiere... my money..!!!) when i received this urgent phone call from my friend, telling me to do ops for him the next day, while he'll do mine. because he has to investigate an outbreak. fine, i thought, even though it is so last minute, and the two hours off isn't confirmed cuz the next day got campaign. things got worse when i called him to ask if he had confirmed with the ops spec that i would be doing in his place or not. he told me to cover COS as well. "the whole day?" "yea, sorri..." i agreed in the end, since he had an outbreak investigation and can't do COS. looked at the duty list the next day, it's my 3rd cos. on average a guy does 1 cos a month. and i had to do another 4 next month supposedly because i'm being punished for playing tic tac toe. ok, that's my fault in the end. but what pissed me off is that the COS is not even HIS cos, it was another guy's COS, and that guy just coincidentally reported sick that day. ah... now the picture becomes clear, that guy must have told my friend that since i am doing ops, may as well ask me to cover COS for him. period.... after the whole campaign yesterday i was still tired... wanted to go to some halloween party, but loo wants me to come his house to play. i realised i was game enough to go to china black (that's where the party is), but not to another guy's house since that means i'll have to talk, and i don't want to talk. in fact, i want more than just talking. to empty my heart inside out. so i called zhongyang and yau hong. but i did so at the last minute they aren't free, though i doubt they would be if i told them earlier in the day. i'm still not prepared to play a whole night of wwe though. so i lied... said i'm going lincoln's house to play mahjong, and very convincingly, since it really happened 2 weeks ago. haha.. sorry guys. i just wanna sleep. zzz.

may it be an evening star shines down upon you may it be when darkness falls, your heart will be true you walk a lonely road, how far you are from home may it be the shadows call will away may it be your journey on to light the day when the night is overcome, you may rise to find the sun mornie utulie... believe and you will find your way mornie alantie a promise lives within you now

you know you need some direction in life if you spend three hours piahing wwe nonstop and feel so contented about it.

i was reading the newspaper today, and i realised that by right i'm supposed to be in jail now. together with quite a lot of other people i know. the biggest injustice that can happen to us, imo.

am i stepping over the edge too far? i'm not afraid of falling, but of those who want to pull me back. they do not even know why i'm letting myself.. go

what a crazy week this is. from the laid-back self i was the past few months, slowly relishing the free nights i have had after work and during weekends, i suddenly transformed into one grabbing any opportunity available to get myself some money. which may well be the case, since staying and rotting at home, or simply stoning outdoors won't get me anywhere. somehow i managed to find myself a kungtao to work as a helper for some carnival in saturday. it was a rather big-scale event, which i didn't expect until i reached there, organised by starhub nickelodeon with power98 crew as special guests. it was some sort of a children's carnival, and i was landed a job to be some "children relay helper"... which made me affirmed my decision never to work with children again. with parents around, you can't be too firm with them for fear they'll cry, but you can't be lax with them either since there are several safety concerns regarding the activity. bleah.. worked the whole day, got myself all red (again!), and earned sixty bucks. then, i found myself a student. which was even worse - the travelling is inhumane imo. just imagine.. after work.. from nee soon, to jurong, and back to bishan. the last time i went i reached home past midnight. i'm supposed to teach her three times a week, but it seems that she has sacked me somewhat, for she hasn't replied when i asked her when i'll be seeing her again. ah well, at least there's no travelling woes anymore. and then, there's my dad's factory. with the help of some accounting program i'll be officially enrolled as a 'data entry clerk' cum 'amateur accountant' for a day in every week, 8 hours each time. the pay is not bad.. i feel really guilty for taking money from my parents, but since they insist... :P so there you go, the whole week spent studying emaths, chem for my student or ex-student; even the day off i earned wasn't spared.. had to attend some course regarding the accounting program in bugis. life in office isn't good either. firstly, i destroyed my boss's thumb drive and had to buy a new one. =\. and then, i got caught playing an online game in the office, and the game: tic tac toe. (don't laugh.) and i haven't even begin playing! kena punished for that... (there goes my hari raya and deepavali break.. ) then again.. today is a good day. made my boss happy today for i've done a decent job in stocktaking in the lab, and that makes me happy too. hopefully i'll be motivated to NOT slack in future. the only breaks i had were the two movies i watched, RE: Apocalypse and Don't Move, both of which were at Plaza Singapura, and both of which i was asked for my IC, one of which i was stared very hard by the ticket seller as if i was using someone else's IC. Watching resident evil was an enriching experience: taught me the tricks to get tickets EVEN THOUGH it's announced as sold-out. (zhongyang must be ingenuous to think of such an idea.) then there was this "epi-dinner" with some friends in my office, where i was quite extra since i was the only one wearing number four and i ain't from epi. went to some vavavoom vietnamese restaurant. i must say the food tasted fantastic initially, but became monotonous after that, and after this i felt really sick of rice noodles and sweet and sour sauce which seemed to be the main component of almost every dish we ordered. and yippieee.. weekend is just tomorrow! won't be seeing office for a few days.. i'm already feeling happy just thinking of this. only thing is.. money will be flowing out at a very very fast rate. firstly, i just bought a music cd of chloè, some opera singer. (love her voice.) and then i promised darryl to belanjah his cover for tomorrow night's out. (maybe he has forgotten though)... anyway happy birthday darryl! and then there's zhongyang's present... happy birthday zhongyang! hope it stops here.