watched "howls' moving castle" today... didn't really enjoy it. but if guojie's interpretation of the show was correct, by right i should have morphed into a feeble old man, unable to speak a single word to anyone. every night i will sprout feathers and my wings, when unleashed, will be humungous enough to cover the whole city. actually, i should have consumed the flames when given the chance.

And so it is Just like you said it would be Life goes easy on me Most of the time And so it is The shorter story No love, no glory No hero in her sky I can't take my eyes off of you And so it is Just like you said it should be We'll both forget the breeze Most of the time And so it is The colder water The blower's daughter The pupil in denial I can't take my eyes off of you I can't take my mind off of you I can't take my mind off you I can't take my mind off of you...

Til I find someone else.

blast my desire.....!!!!!

what have i done? i've misconstrued it all...!!!!

eh, if i can't be a professional photographer, i can at least be a geek photographer aka screenshotgrapher. following are pics of my character in Rose Online. (me, admiring the night sky.... while the others fight on.)

(left to right: saufi, me, hiro, the femme fatale aka liwei)

(one on one with a mutated fishman.)

(edmond showing off his new car)

(ignoring my friend's advice, i recklessly demonstrated my newly learnt windstorm spell, resulting in my unexpected demise shortly after.)

a crow takes care of its parents. a mother hen protects its chicks. a dog is faithful to its loving owner and is willing to die for him. no moral values are being inculcated in animals; yet a number of them display such very human-like traits. i believe that the fact that right prevails wrong is not just a mere coincidence. various schools of thoughts sprung up eons ago, with the founders having no relations with one another, yet most teach along the same line of "being good". it is generally what most people believe in, is beneficial to the society, and of course, beneficial to the individual. hence, there is a standard protocol of what's right and what's not. of course there are variations but the bottomline objectives are the same. and we should still try to do what's "right", and try to steer away from what's "wrong", even without the threat of law. that said, i also believe that it is "wrong" to judge a person for doing something that is generally perceived as wrong. yes, even for the extreme, universal, non-controversial wrongs like taking the life of someone away. but before we even try to change ourselves to go into the shoes of the murderer to understand what caused him to do such a heinous deed to his fellow friend/relative/lover/stranger, we should start with just a baby-step forward. a person succumbs to vices such as smoking, drugs, prostitution, gambling. it's wrong because such are the roots of several family problems. and we are often guilty of proudly telling ourselves "luckily i'm not him. i wish i will never be like him." yea, we wish we won't. the situation that person is in; the events that happened to him that shaped his life; the culture he is exposed to, that led him to this so-called abysmal acts, is probably something that we cannot take either. a person goes for a sex change. again, we probably wish we ain't him. apart from the fact that this revolts us, the social stigma is too much to bear. but despite being aware of the consequences, he still went for it. have we ever stopped and wondered.. probably he is experiencing something even worse than this "social stigma" that's to come the moment his dick is snipped? a person committed suicide. just a while back, i would have mixed feelings. on one hand, i feel sorry for him. on the other, i would think that he is selfish. he cares for himself only, and not for the friends and devastated family in his life. death is an escape to the problems he is in, hence he is cowardly as well. after all, most problems can be solved if he had been strong enough to fight. now, like me, other people who feel this way obviously haven't identified. we judge almost immediately. unfortunately, or fortunately so to speak, i happened to wear his shoes shortly after. the truth is, the dreaded status of death seemed so much more comfortable than the negative feelings of helplessness and despair he had been experiencing in the last chapters of his life. before we give the guilty verdict, think again; could we have handled it better than him? probably, but not much better.* (*note: i'm not condoning suicide or anything. in fact i'm for greater awareness of suicide and preventing it as much as we can. but in the event that it has happened, we must not blame the person.) morality may not be black and white all the time. some deeds tend to be more on the black side while the rest on the white. we should all try to join the White-lighters. but we fail, many times. however, remember that those of us who took a stroll towards the dark end usually have our own story to tell. and we are only humans, with very very limited power, i must say. but what's important is the fact that we try. i may be straying abit; i admit i can't write well. my point is, we should all do our best to be good, but at the same time, do not condemn those who are "wrong". it's very very hard to do so. but i was just thinking, before i curse at my ops wo who yelled at me for not doing my job well even though i've tried my best and that the fault lies in his screwed up instructions, i should have wondered why did he commit such a tactless act. i will then look at things slightly differently. actually, the closest thing that comes to be "black" is an unjustified crime. like when a person kills another because he feels like it. like when a person beats another up because it's fun. but in most incidents, it isn't the case. but, even if we don't judge a murderer; even if we had put ourselves in his position, ultimately the very extreme wrong-doers, such as this guy we're talking about, ought to be punished. too bad if the murderer has a sad past. it's not just "for the good of the society", but more importantly (yes i'm individualistic) for the peace of mind of the affected individuals who are totally innocent.

ah... it's cny eve again! after wasting this joyous festival last year thanks to my untimely chickenpox, i'll make sure i take care of myself this time round. so-called kicked start the celebration with "lo-hei" in prev med branch. our csm, jo, could not be more correct when he told us that we can wish for anything, save for "sheng yi xing long". considering the shit we have done the past few weeks, months even, we can't afford for "more business", which can mean either: more outbreak investigations, more disasters (really really hope not!), more pest complaints etc. none of these spell good to us. unfortunately our hopes for a "slacker office hours" weren't really answered, as within the next fifteen minutes of lo-hei, there were like five pest complaints called up. which means the COS has more work to do! so much for resting during holiday season eh. but then again, it is time for a break for me, and for the occupational health (and health ed) section. the "BIG" WITS project cum presentation, the 4 day mentally straining Occupational Health Workshop due to tons of last-minute work thrown to us, (shall not go into detail) as well as the MOCC Occ Health lectures..... are all HISTORY! i admit the feeling of stress, irritation and anger nearly got me the past week or so. now, all i care about is some reward for my hard work. no i'm not talking about JUST the holiday breaks. in front of my boss ...*cOFF. cOFF*. :)

things i discovered during the weekend: 1) there is an undiscovered heaven in town. music underground, here i come! 2) the treetop walk isn't like what the straits times touted to be: filled with a variety of fauna such as white-bellied sea eagles, sunbirds, orioles, monitor lizards etc. the only animal sightings i had was a brief glimpse of a butterfly perched on a leaf. 3) yangtze cinema ushers really don't check for underage patrons. (tried and tested.) and they do play some nice shows after all. 4) queensway hawker centre serves fantastic stingray fried rice. queensway shopping centre sells some cheap yet nice-looking attire. things i discovered the past week: 1) you just can't trust everyone. gotta watch your back. 2) minus the occasional stammers and stutterings, i can public speak!

supposed to meet my friends at queensway at 630 to buy new clothes for xin nian, then go oo, but may end up staying at home tonight after all. the reason is unbelievably absurd. you see, the lock in my house has always been problematic. sometimes you cannot twist open the lock using the key. you have to try inserting repeatedly before you succeed. i've told my parents about it, my mom shrug it off saying that, with some skill you should be able to open, like "push the top part of the key up, or drag the key out when you turn" blah blah blah. tried that just now. it just didn't work. for five minutes i was like a fool standing at the doorway attempting to open the lock. then, i decided to use a little bit more effort, thinking, hmm maybe there's something stuck inside; with some force i could dislodge the obstruction. guess what, the key broke. and there's no one in my house to save me. no one else is gonna return home anytime soon either for various reasons. no more spare keys in the house. now i'm stuck until further notice!